Welcome back to 31 Days of Servant Leadership!

Today we discuss honor.

What is honor?

High respect, esteem, a privilege.

1. honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions

2. a source of credit or distinction

3. high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank

4. such respect manifested

5. high public esteem; fame; glory

“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. Exodus 20:12

This is the first commandment with a promise.

But, as parents, do we deserve honor just because we’re parents? So many abuse this power. How often do you irritate your children with expectations that are unreasonable? Do you expect them to complete tasks without training them properly?

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1-4

Mamas, I know we’re only human and we expect a lot from our kids, especially our older kids and teens. We often forget that we demand them to be responsible for too much sometimes.

We need to serve our families well by training and having our kids work alongside us. We need to be leaders by leading our daughters in the chores and training our kids how to do them well.

We lead by example.

Sure, we must teach our children to be respectful, but we also must be worthy of that respect. I know there are lots of books and articles out there exhorting us to do what we should do – love or respect – without waiting for the other to show it. But I’m talking about kids here. We must teach them by showing them. How else will they know how when they grow up?

As a military wife, it’s common and known that many officers are “honored” or respected just because of that eagle or star or leaf on their collars. They don’t deserve any honor because they don’t lead well, but troops respect the rank. I get it. We need to teach respect for authority even if they don’t deserve it.

There are so many differences between being a boss and a leader.

Leaders are inspirational. They guide, encourage, work with their people.

Bosses sit back and bark orders, take all the credit, and none of the blame.

What about rules? It depends on how they’re framed.

This is one of my favorite books and an incredible quote. Quit whining about credit! And teach the kids not to worry about it as long as the job gets done well.

“Real leaders don’t care [about receiving credit]. If it’s about your mission, about spreading the faith, about seeing something happen, not only do you not care about credit, you actually want other people to take credit…There’s no record of Martin Luther King, Jr. or Gandhi whining about credit. Credit isn’t the point. Change is.”

― Seth Godin, Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us

And this has always been a favorite quote, being an Army brat and Air Force wife.

“Always do everything you ask of those you command.”

– George S. Patton

Instead of barking orders at your kids – work with them, show them how to fold the laundry and pray for each family member as you tuck in socks and roll up towels.

Instead of nagging your children – help make the chores go faster by helping load the dishwasher and then play a game together.

Instead of constantly lecturing, stop to listen to your babies. They have lots to say. They can teach us so much about the world, about God, about love and forgiveness.

How to compose a successful critical commentary:

1. You should attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly, and fairly that your target says, “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.
2. You should list any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
3. You should mention anything you have learned from your target.
4. Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.

Be a parent. Enjoy your children. Look at them and listen to them. Show them what leadership is. {Tweet This!}

I’m guilty of this too. I like my alone time and being with the kids all day long every day can be exhausting, but they long for downtime with me – no school lessons, no chores, no lecturing. I need to be intentional and present.

Be honorable. Show honor. That is true leadership.

Resources:

• In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership by Henri J. M. Nouwen
• Canoeing the Mountains: Christian Leadership in Uncharted Territory by Tod Bolsinger
• Lead Your Family Like Jesus: Powerful Parenting Principles from the Creator of Families by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, and Tricia Goyer
• The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C. Maxwell
• The Servant Leader’s Manifesto by Omar L. Harris
• Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t by Simon Sinek
• Servant Leadership Roadmap: Master the 12 Core Competencies of Management Success with Leadership Qualities and Interpersonal Skills by Cara H. Bramlett
• How to Talk So People Will Listen by Steve Brown
• Trust and Inspire: How Truly Great Leaders Unleash Greatness in Others by Stephen M.R. Covey