Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Easy Dressing Recipe

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I have a shortcut to make an easy and delicious dressing for Thanksgiving.

The shortcut is to use storebought cornbread and stuffing mix. I have often made my breads from scratch, but we really can’t much tell the difference and it always made way too much and I hate waste.

My mom didn’t add cornbread, but I like the mix of textures and flavors. My mom also didn’t use the sausage in her dressing recipe, but I find it adds a nice texture and flavor. Some people like oysters and chestnuts. You can make this your own, with whatever flavors you like. There are different flavors and brands of stuffing mix and I often add in some fresh herbs like sage.

I start with sausage and veggies. I saute those in butter. It smells wonderful!

I like to crumble the sausage really fine so it all melds together well.

I add in crumbled cornbread and the stuffing mix. For this recipe, I used half the square of the storebought cornbread and about half the bag of stuffing mix. Probably 2 cups of each.

I pour just enough chicken stock (you could use turkey stock, vegetable stock, or homemade stock) until it’s wet and well-mixed.

It should be cool enough to add in the eggs. We don’t want those to scramble!

I spray my 8×8 pan with olive oil. I actually like to cover my pan in the fridge for overnight.

Ready for the oven!

This was always my favorite dish on Thanksgiving. It’s actually simple and so flavorful and makes great leftovers.

Print

Easy Dressing

Course Side Dish
Cuisine American
Servings 8

Ingredients

  • 1/2 tube breakfast sausage
  • 1 carrot peeled and chopped
  • 1/2 onion chopped
  • 5 celery stalks chopped
  • 2 T butter
  • 2 cups cornbread
  • 2 cups herb stuffing mix
  • 1-1.5 cups chicken stock
  • 2 eggs

Instructions

  1. Sauté sausage and vegetables in butter until cooked through.

  2. Crumble in cornbread and add bread mix.

  3. Pour in chicken stock and mix. This should be cool enough to add in eggs so they don't scramble! If not, wait until cooled.

  4. Mix in eggs. It should be quite wet.

  5. Pour into greased 8×8 pan. Cover in fridge for overnight.

  6. Bake 350* for about an hour or until firm and browned on top. Serve warm or room temperature.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Linking up: Ginger Snap, Ducks in a Row, Ridge Haven, LouLou Girls, Suburbia, Stroll Thru Life, OMHG, Try it Like it, Miz Helen, Slices of Life, Jenerally Informed,

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Best Books of 2021

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I read a lot, like a lot a lot.

We do read alouds for our homeschool every morning and some evenings.

I always have several books on my Kindle app or nightstand or side table, throughout the house, really.

I love exploring new concepts in history or self-help and reading fiction with my kids.

I try to intersperse fun fiction reads. There are no fluffy, bad, or wrong books. There are just preferences.

I read lots of books. It tends to go in waves depending on what’s going on in my life, how busy we are, my moods and availability of library eBooks. I think I notice themes each year that help me grow and become a better person, wife, mom.

I tried and quit reading Gilead multiple times. I don’t like quitting, but I really loathed the book, the characters, and story. I couldn’t find any reason to finish. Some books I read in a single evening. Others take a few days or even weeks.

My Favorite Books I Read in 2021

Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

A sweeping, revisionist history of the last seventy-five years of white evangelicalism, revealing how evangelicals have worked to replace the Jesus of the Gospels with an idol of rugged masculinity and Christian nationalism.

This was an enlightening book explaining many historical events and helped me make connections during my lifetime.

The Woman in the Window by A. J. Finn

It isn’t paranoia if it’s really happening . . .

Anna Fox lives alone—a recluse in her New York City home, unable to venture outside. She spends her day drinking wine (maybe too much), watching old movies, recalling happier times . . . and spying on her neighbors.

Then the Russells move into the house across the way: a father, a mother, their teenage son. The perfect family. But when Anna, gazing out her window one night, sees something she shouldn’t, her world begins to crumble—and its shocking secrets are laid bare.

What is real? What is imagined? Who is in danger? Who is in control? In this diabolically gripping thriller, no one—and nothing—is what it seems.

I really enjoyed this book and the film was ok too. I love Amy Adams and she did a great portrayal.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

Somewhere out beyond the edge of the universe there is a library that contains an infinite number of books, each one the story of another reality. One tells the story of your life as it is, along with another book for the other life you could have lived if you had made a different choice at any point in your life. While we all wonder how our lives might have been, what if you had the chance to go to the library and see for yourself? Would any of these other lives truly be better?

I love, love, love all the books by Matt Haig and this one was very interesting and thought provoking. I have The Comfort Book on my list to read.

Here in the Real World by Sara Pennypacker

Ware can’t wait to spend summer “off in his own world”—dreaming of knights in the Middle Ages and generally being left alone. But then his parents sign him up for dreaded Rec camp, where he must endure Meaningful Social Interaction and whatever activities so-called “normal” kids do.

On his first day Ware meets Jolene, a tough, secretive girl planting a garden in the rubble of an abandoned church next to the camp. Soon he starts skipping Rec, creating a castle-like space of his own in the church lot.

Jolene scoffs, calling him a dreamer—he doesn’t live in the “real world” like she does. As different as Ware and Jolene are, though, they have one thing in common: for them, the lot is a refuge.

But when their sanctuary is threatened, Ware looks to the knights’ Code of Chivalry: Thou shalt do battle against unfairness wherever faced with it. Thou shalt be always the champion of the Right and Good—and vows to save the lot.

But what does a hero look like in real life? And what can two misfit kids do?

I love this author and this book was so, so sweet and lovely. We enjoyed the characters and were so sad when it ended.

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.

Discover the four types of difficult parents:

  • The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
  • The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
  • The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
  • The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory

This book was helpful for me understanding my parents and making sure not to make similar mistakes with my own children.

Wanderers by Chuck Wendig

A decadent rock star. A deeply religious radio host. A disgraced scientist. And a teenage girl who may be the world’s last hope. From the mind of Chuck Wendig comes an astonishing tapestry of humanity that Harlan Coben calls “a suspenseful, twisty, satisfying, surprising, thought-provoking epic.”

Shana wakes up one morning to discover her little sister in the grip of a strange malady. She appears to be sleepwalking. She cannot talk and cannot be woken up. And she is heading with inexorable determination to a destination that only she knows. But Shana and her sister are not alone. Soon they are joined by a flock of sleepwalkers from across America, on the same mysterious journey. And, like Shana, there are other “shepherds” who follow the flock to protect their friends and family on the long dark road ahead.

For on their journey, they will discover an America convulsed with terror and violence, where this apocalyptic epidemic proves less dangerous than the fear of it. As the rest of society collapses all around them—and an ultraviolent militia threatens to exterminate them—the fate of the sleepwalkers depends on unraveling the mystery behind the epidemic. The terrifying secret will either tear the nation apart—or bring the survivors together to remake a shattered world.

This was a prophetic book and very disturbing. Eye opening into the human condition.

Rest: Why You Get More Done When You Work Less by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

Overwork is the new normal. Rest is something to do when the important things are done-but they are never done. Looking at different forms of rest, from sleep to vacation, Silicon Valley futurist and business consultant Alex Soojung-Kim Pang dispels the myth that the harder we work the better the outcome. He combines rigorous scientific research with a rich array of examples of writers, painters, and thinkers—from Darwin to Stephen King—to challenge our tendency to see work and relaxation as antithetical.

I am constantly searching for confirmation bias that we are counter-cultural in our seeking to be out of the rat race.

Klara and the Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro

From her place in the store, Klara, an Artificial Friend with outstanding observational qualities, watches carefully the behaviour of those who come in to browse, and of those who pass in the street outside. She remains hopeful a customer will soon choose her, but when the possibility emerges that her circumstances may change for ever, Klara is warned not to invest too much in the promises of humans.

This book was very emotional. I am still disturbed by the ending and keep trying to figure it out in my head.

The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin

In a near-future world beset by war, climate change, and overpopulation, Portland resident George Orr discovers that his dreams have the power to alter reality. Upon waking, the world he knew has become a strange, barely recognizable place, where only George has a clear memory of how it was before. Seeking escape from these “effective dreams,” George eventually turns to behavioral psychologist Dr. William Haber for a cure. But Haber has other ideas in mind.
 
Seeing the profound power of George’s dreams, Haber believes it must be harnessed for the greater good—no matter the cost. Soon, George is a pawn in Haber’s dangerous game, where the fate of humanity grows more imperiled with every waking hour.

Whew, this book gave me nightmares. It has stayed with me all year. So disturbing on many counts.

Recipes for a Sacred Life: True Stories and a Few Miracles by Rivvy Neshama

On a dark winter night with little to do, Rivvy Neshama took a “Find Your Highest Purpose” quiz. And the funny thing was, she found it: to live a sacred life. Problem was, she didn’t know how.

But she set out to learn. And in the weeks and months that followed, she began to remember and encounter all the people and experiences featured in this book—from her father’s jokes to her mother’s prayers, from Billie in Harlem to a stranger in Salzburg, and from warm tortillas to the humble oatmeal. Each became a story, like a recipe passed down, beginning with her mother and her simple toast to life.

I enjoyed reading these snippets of wisdom gleaned from seeking a sacred life.

A Patchwork Planet by Anne Tyler

Barnaby Gaitlin has been in trouble ever since adolescence. He had this habit of breaking into other people’s houses. It wasn’t the big loot he was after, like his teenage cohorts. It was just that he liked to read other people’s mail, pore over their family photo albums, and appropriate a few of their precious mementos.

I keep thinking about how real and relatable the characters are. I highlighted so many lovely phrases and wish I had more to the story.

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Alice Love is twenty-nine, crazy about her husband, and pregnant with her first child. So imagine Alice’s surprise when she comes to on the floor of a gym (a gym! She HATES the gym) and is whisked off to the hospital where she discovers the honeymoon is truly over—she’s getting divorced, she has three kids, and she’s actually 39 years old. Alice must reconstruct the events of a lost decade, and find out whether it’s possible to reconstruct her life at the same time. She has to figure out why her sister hardly talks to her, and how is it that she’s become one of those super skinny moms with really expensive clothes. Ultimately, Alice must discover whether forgetting is a blessing or a curse, and whether it’s possible to start over…

I just cannot quit thinking about this book. What would it be like if I forgot the last ten years? What if I could go back to then? Would I even really want to? But what could I incorporate about that younger, more innocent self into the jaded me right now?

What have you enjoyed reading recently?

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Raising a Team Player

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Like most things in life, teamwork is a learned skill. Take two seconds to observe a room full of toddlers, and that becomes ABUNDANTLY clear.

Thankfully, by the time a child is entering kindergarten, they’re old enough to understand the basics of teamwork. They may not like it, but their brains are developed enough to know it’s something they can and should do. 

But those skills don’t just appear. Parents are the ones who start introducing kids to the concepts of teamwork and fair play.

Here are some ideas for you to try out. (These skills might not come naturally to your child. They might fight you. That’s okay, though. These concepts will eventually cement themselves inside your child’s brain if you are diligent.)

Ways to Foster Teamwork With Young Kids

  1. Emphasize that everyone has a role. Teams are more than just their strongest members. In group activities, work together to find a role or job for everyone playing. Let your children take the lead in picking their contribution, too. That fosters creativity as well as identifying personal strengths. 
  2. Focus on the effort they give, not achievement. Understanding the importance of hard work and cooperation is WAY more important than prioritizing “winning is fun.” It’s way better If kids are rewarded and praised for the effort they put into a task than just for accomplishing something. (Kids can grow up to become the “never try, never fail” adult if they are rewarded only for the latter.)
  3. Show them how to encourage teammates. Even as adults, we know that teams made up of people who encourage and support one another are far better to be on than teams made of people focused on themselves and their achievements. Praise your kids for specific things they have done well, and have them do the same for their siblings, friends, or teammates. 
  4. Encourage fair play. Honor ground rules that promote fairness and being kind, and don’t ever bend in those regards. However, if you have a little negotiator who likes to question the rules, hear them out and discuss as a group if you all think the rules should be changed to benefit everyone. (Emphasis on the EVERYONE.)
  5. Don’t reward arguing. Fighting, calling names, or stomping off in anger are NOT ways you want your kid to handle difficulty or losing. Teach them to negotiate and, if that still doesn’t work, to accept the bad news or loss with grace and a handshake. 

Whether they end up in team sports or whether they are navigating a group project at school, being a team player and valuing good teamwork are skills that every child can benefit from. Be mindful of the ways you and your family can instill these values at home so your kids can see early how valuable being a team player really is. 

For more parenting tips check out our blog or read some of the resources below:

What Is Social Emotional Learning? 

It’s Mine! – How To Teach Kids About Sharing

Help Your Kids Practice Patience

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Nine Benefits of Learning To Play the Piano

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Learning to play the piano can have benefits at any age. Some of these benefits will surprise you since they may not be related to the piano at all. Here are some of the benefits you can expect.

1. Improves Math Ability

Music skills in the brain are closely connected to math skills. Counting beats and notes helps you to learn about fractions as well. As you become more competent on the piano or practice using free online piano, you will increase your ability to do math. 

2. Develops Appreciation for Music

When you learn to play the piano, you will be playing music from many different genres of music. You may not have been exposed to such music styles as jazz, opera, classical music, folk music or rock music, but playing these types of numbers on the piano during your lessons at Forbes Music Company will help you to appreciate them.

3. Increases Memory

The repetitive playing of songs during practice will soon lead to memorizing the songs. Also, when you play in a recital or concert, you will have to memorize the music. This memorization of songs during music practice will exercise your memory skills, and your brain will become more skilled at memorization in general.

4. Helps With Language Skills

Playing the piano uses the same parts of the brain as speaking a language. So, if you play the piano, you will exercise these areas and become better at expressing yourself in language.

5. Improves Social Skills

Taking piano lessons means you need to interact with your teacher in order to learn. If you play in a concert or with an orchestra, you will have to learn to cooperate with many different people. This practice is a good way to enhance your social skills. Learning to work together with others can benefit everyone, children and adults.

6. Develops Patience

Learning piano does not happen quickly. There is a lot of practice involved. At first, you may be very clumsy at it, but eventually, you will get better and become a competent player. This process will teach you to be patient with yourself when learning something new.

7. Helps With Self-Esteem

Learning a complex skill such as playing the piano is not easy. You need determination and persistence. Once you have mastered piano-playing, your self-esteem will go up since you know that you have accomplished something great.

8. Prevents Memory Loss

Learning to play the piano is especially helpful to the brain functioning of the elderly. It will help to prevent memory loss associated with age. The more you practice, the better you will exercise your brain.

9. Enhances Motor Control and Coordination

Playing the piano will help you physically, too. It will strengthen your motor control and enhance your physical coordination skills. Piano playing changes your brain to make coordination and fine motor skills easier for you.

With the many benefits that playing the piano brings, it is a good idea for anyone to take piano lessons. The skills you learn will enhance your life and bring new richness to your daily experience.

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Foodie Gift Guide

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My family and I love to cook and eat and cool gadgets often make our lives easier. Here are some fun gifts for people who love spending time in the kitchen or around the dining table.

We have certain kitchen essentials and have/had some fun cooking tools for our kids when they were little.

We don’t really care for many unitaskers or any multicookers. I actually enjoy cooking and my counters are already cluttered enough. I want good quality tools that are functional and beautiful that will last a long time.

We love good food and good wine. Dinner each evening is a feast.

Gift Guide for Foodies

Pepper Mill

I love this pepper mill because it’s easy to turn and refill. It gives lovely coarse grinds.

Whipped Cream Dispenser

We love, love, love this whipped cream dispenser, especially during holiday dessert season! I love making my own whipped cream with natural ingredients and flavors.

Kitchen Torch

I never thought I would like, use, or need a torch in the kitchen, but it comes in handy for more than just  crème brûlée!

Electric Milk Frother

I have a microwave frother but I also love my electric frother. We can use the flavored Silk almond creams or regular whole milk, cream, or half and half.

Dehydrator

It comes in handy to dehydrate foods when we garden and can’t eat everything right away. Also fun to make homemade fruit rollups or gummy snacks from fresh fruit! Loads of uses.

Food Sealer

We like our Food Saver, but we may get this Zwilling system. We like to marinate meats with no spilling. I often separate bulk buys into servings for our deep freezer. I need to remember to label everything!

Wine Opener

There are some fancy and expensive wine openers out there, but this is still my favorite! The electric ones worry me and my husband loves his waiter’s corkscrew from Laguiole from our last trip to Paris. This is easy to use and doesn’t hurt my hands or break the corks.

Wine aerator

We like aerating our red wines and the more complex white wines either direct into glasses or into a decanter for better and fuller flavor.

Decanter

We love our glass decanters to air our red wines and make pouring without spilling easier. And they’re pretty on the table!

Vacuum sealer

We don’t often have leftover wine or soda, but these vacuum pump sealers work wonders to save bottles. They can then last up to a week!

Wine Rack

We have a simple wine rack in our basement where the temperature is always cool.

Wine Books

These books are great for learning about how to pair wine with food or discovering what you love!

Also, fun cookbooks are great gifts!

Specialty Glassware

I bought an engraved whisky glass for my husband last year and he loves it!

Fun wine glasses with cute sayings or insulated/unbreakable cups for picnics or backyard entertaining are popular.

Food gifts or subscriptions

I am always excited to receive a bottle of whisky or wine.

Cheese or salami is always welcome!

I love gourmet chocolate with fancy unique ingredients. My favorite is saffron!

One year, my husband game me an olive oil of the month subscription.

We’re excited to see fun food Advent calendars in our local grocery stores – cheese, wine, beer. These make great gifts or fun to try new flavors.

Wine

Firstleaf wine gifts are versatile and they can customize which wines they prefer – sweet or dry, sparkling, white, rosé, or red.

My husband and I gave ourselves a Firstleaf subscription last year. It’s been a fun adventure!

Seafood

KnowSeafood gifts or subscription for the seafood lovers! We live in Dayton, Ohio, and finding good affordable fresh seafood is difficult. We love, love, love the selection and quality at KnowSeafood!

What’s your favorite foodie find?

You might also like:

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Teen Jobs

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My eldest child began college at age 16 and it was perhaps a little bit too soon for her. I encouraged her but she felt trapped into that life and didn’t enjoy it. She got a part-time job and had some bad experiences with employers exploiting her and sexual harassment that went unpunished. I worried since she had completed our homeschool that she needed to spend her time wisely. Maybe I should have let her lie around and do nothing instead of pushing her to be more productive.

She worked as a grocery cashier at a national chain, clerk at a tennis center, a local casual restaurant hostess, at a Halloween shop, as a bank teller, and now as a caregiver to disabled adults.

She is now living on her own, sharing an apartment with friends. She quit college and works full-time and I hope she’s happy. She just turned 21. It hurts me that she chose to do this. I wish I still had options to help her. I wish she was still on our family health insurance plan. I pray she doesn’t fall into debt or have an accident or illness.

But if I could back, I would be kinder to my daughter instead of pushing and challenging. If I knew then what I know now.

We are experiencing a vast shift where employees are protesting poor working conditions. I know that young people and those presenting as females are often treated worse in the workplace and I do worry for my kids. My eldest tells us horrible stories about her own work experiences and that of her friends and how they are not protected or helped by management. I worry my middle daughter won’t be treated well and won’t speak up. I am so anxious.

It irritates me how difficult it is to find entry level jobs. The requirements and preferences of employers frustrates me. Most potential employees have little experience or higher education or certification. How do these employers expect to hire people if they require so much for so little pay and often poor working conditions?

Why can’t cashiers have chairs? Who is it disrespecting? Why are so many shoppers angry and belligerent?

It also upsets me that so many career options are undervalued – beauty industry, cleaning, nursing, social work, teaching, secretarial work, child care, elderly care – typically women-centric jobs or “pink collar” that bring little pay and offer poor work conditions. Our society must think these jobs aren’t important. This past couple years certainly has brought to the forefront of our newsfeeds the lack of respect for food service and caregiving careers. These workers seem invisible unless they do an exceptional job with a smile for very little pay. I think it’s awful now that college isn’t even an answer to a good job. I have a master’s degree and that’s not even special anymore.

I worked nonstop from age 16 until I was 30. I had some horrible experiences. I didn’t know any better. Bosses and coworkers were often very abusive, but I had little recourse or knowledge of workers rights. I went to college full-time, beginning with skipping my senior year of high school, including summers. I never had a break. I do not recommend this.

My parents are Silent Generation and I am GenX and that’s a bizarre combo. My dad would make very unfunny gibes about owning me and all that I owed him for the expenses he incurred while raising me.

When I quit work with the birth of my second child, I was quite lost and didn’t know how to rest. That mindset is damaging. The pressure to become a SuperMom is overwhelming. I’ve learned to balance better and I want that peace for my kids.

I wish I hadn’t been such a coward. I wish I had been encouraged to speak up, to take risks, to rest, to quit.

We are not what we produce. We are whole and complete and we deserve rest.

Where are the Teen Jobs?

I feel that teens are exploited since many adults aren’t willing to work under the current conditions. Many adults juggle child care and/or elderly care that employers aren’t willing to work around or pay enough to cover those expenses. My daughters are working hard and picking up extra shifts when people call in.

But I’m not raising kids to maintain the status quo. I want them to be respected on the job. I want them to rest when they need to, not having to grow up too fast to join the adult world. I want improvements to workers rights and minimum wage. I am so, so sorry for the apathy of my generation that we didn’t fight for more change.

There are some options for teens to work part time for pay. There doesn’t seem to be as many options as when I was a teenager.

In July 1986, 57 percent of sixteen- to nineteen-year-olds were employed; in July 2017 only 36 percent worked.

Thrivers by Michele Borba

I did babysitting from the age of 12 when I went through a course with Girl Scouts. I worked at McDonald’s at age 16, Pizza Hut, a drugstore, Media Play (remember that place?), then as a secretary through college. I was able to do substitute teaching and after school care during college also. I taught full time in various schools. I was an adjunct English professor. I worked in a day spa. I occasionally tutored after my kids were born. I just don’t have time for side hustles anymore, and thankfully I don’t have to work.

My husband did lawn care during summers. He also did various farm chores from childhood for pay or volunteer. He grew up about an hour south of Chicago on three acres surrounded by farms.

My two daughters did babysitting, but they found many parents don’t want to pay even minimum wage and expected way too much and often felt unsafe in their homes.

My middle daughter got paid well for pet sitting the last couple years with a few families during the holidays.

We have a neighbor boy who does lawn care on our street, but many families in our city hire professional house cleaners and lawn maintenance companies.

One of my children wants to sell their art online, either stickers or something similar.

Many fast food restaurants are hiring as young as 14.

Typically, many shops and restaurants will hire teens beginning at age 16.

I wonder if some businesses just don’t want to deal with the child labor laws affecting minors.

Every state is different, but most stores seem to hire only adults over age 18. This makes it more difficult for teens to get experience or work after school and during summers.

My second child just got a part-time job as a bagger/cashier at a local privately-owned grocery, but I worry she will regret it. She’s so tired all the time. She wanted to start working soon, but maybe not this soon. She’s 15 1/2. I worry she might be treated poorly and not know to recognize it or what to do. She has plans and goals and ambitions. She wants a car and flying lessons and to travel the world.

I’m thrilled for her and I do believe that money can and will open doors – but at what cost?

If you think it’s good for kids to get “life experience” by working long shifts for $7.25 an hour, what kind of life do you want to prepare them for, exactly?

Joshua Potash

I just want my kids to be healthy, safe, protected. They do not have to work until they’re on their own. I provide all their needs and most of their wants. They have education investment funds for higher learning. I don’t want them to feel guilt or shame like I did that I spend so much money to give them a good start in the world. I am blessed to be able to do so.

I encourage my kids to volunteer or find part-time or temporary jobs that will help them learn skills for the future, but only if they want to. We are in a position that we can help our kids if they want to do summer internships. Sometimes, people need jobs just to make money to pay the bills. The idea of a career or dream job can seem far away. They have plenty of time.

My kids are super helpful with home maintenance and chores. They love to learn about cleaning and fixing things. I love having companionship and help.

I wish I could say this to myself and to my children:

My dear teenager, you do not have to work. You do not have to get a part-time job.

There is no need for you to struggle or hustle and grind.

You do not have to enter the adult world just yet.

Play in the woods.

Read the manga.

Jump in the leaf pile.

Draw the picture.

Watch Netflix.

Play videogames.

Collect cards.

Play the guitar.

Sleep in late.

Go to bed late.

Eat when you want.

Go to the bathroom when you need.

Lie around in your pajamas all day.

Dream of what you want to be when you grow up.

Keep on learning.

Stay a child a little longer.

Don’t grow up just yet.

My husband retires next year after twenty years in the Air Force, and he is anxious about that transition. It’s laughable that there are so many jobs available that he is overqualified for or that require a Ph.D., but the pay is less that what he makes now.

To make a living is not to make a killing; it’s to have enough.

Wendell Berry

I pray that worker conditions improve and minimum wages are raised to a livable income. I fear for our society if the status quo remains.

It’s not just the entry level jobs that are desperate. It’s the entire economy. The job market is falling apart. The media complains that no one wants to work. Of course no one wants to work! The work conditions are abhorrent. And what about the 700,000+ workers who have died from COVID-19 complications? Surely many, if not all of them, worked somewhere. Until the work conditions change to reflect valuing and respecting lives, our society will not improve.

One reason I love the wave of people quitting and the wave of strikes is that every time someone walks away from a paycheck or withholds their labor is a leap of faith that things can be better. And when people take that leap incredible things start to happen.

Joshua Potash

Most of us want to work. We are designed for work. When we have to work to live, yet never seem to keep our head above water, we lose sight of working for the sheer joy of producing enough to live and having balance. Our capitalist society has pushed, pushed, pushed us to the breaking point that bigger, better, faster, more, better is never enough.

I ask myself, my husband, and my kids: what would you do for work if money were not an option?

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Halloween with Teens

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This last year and a half has been difficult and with the stress of living through a global pandemic, I realize my kids are growing up and outgrowing some fun kids activities right under my nose.

Autumn is my favorite time of year.

We didn’t go trick or treating for Halloween last year, even though lots of our neighbors did. We didn’t turn on our light or set out candy and the kids and I cringed every time our doorbell rang anyway. I worried we would get egged or TP’ed or some other vandalism, but we were trying to follow health guidelines in spite of everyone else. It was a long, rough night.

We tried to celebrate Christmas last year and make it special. I love having teens and watching them grow, but it is bittersweet seeing the last semblance of their childhoods fade away.

It looks like this year will be more of the same. I’m sad and I’m seeking ways to make our average days special and give us all something to look forward to. We are all depressed and worried and stressed and wondering if there will be an end in sight for the pandemic and tragic world events.

We did attend a few outdoor events when we thought it might become safer – before it was a reality that the Delta variant and COVID were still rampant. We are lucky we are healthy.

We’re still quarantining while it seems much of the rest of the world is moving on, going “back to normal.”

Two of my daughters have had close calls with coworkers and friend’s family members testing positive.

My son hardly eats as fall baseball is canceled and he has lost any social interaction we were able to continue. I have watched my happy go lucky little boy turn into a sad-eyed young man in a year.

Our kids will never fully recover from the stress of this era, most of which was preventable.

I’m desperate to find activities we can do in our home as a family that keep us occupied, take our minds off the catastrophes for a little while.

Halloween with Teens

My kids actually like being together and I love to see it!

How do we create opportunities to look forward to something?

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Slow Cooker Meals

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With autumn and cooler temperatures, we also tend to be busier with fall activities.

Slow cooker meals are a staple at least once a week so we have a nice hot meal that anyone can eat when they’re ready for their dinner on busy nights.

I really do love to cook, so I don’t use many appliances that do the job for me. I don’t have any of the trendy tools that the pandemic made even more popular. I am kind of a snob in the kitchen and a bit old-fashioned.

I have had our slow cooker since I received it as a wedding gift and it’s lovely. I use it mainly to roast meats and make stews.

I also like to make meat stock for the freezer, and we often can applesauce and marinara sauce.

Our favorite slow cooker meals

Asian Pork Ribs

We like to buy meaty country ribs for easy Asian pork ribs. I serve with rice and a vegetable, sometimes salad too.

Pulled Pork

I buy a small pork butt, bone in, and cook it long on low, for about 12 hours. Sometimes, I do the Dr. Pepper recipe, but often, I just cover with our special dry BBQ seasoning and liquid smoke. We pull it apart and serve on wheat buns with cheese and sides like fries, cole slaw, baked beans.

Stewed Pork

Chile verde: Cube pork tenderloin. Sear in fat. Add carrots and onions, a can of jalapeno peppers or chopped fresh jalapeno peppers, and a jar of salsa verde. Cook on low for about 6 hours. Great in tortillas or as a stew.

Taco Chicken

Boneless chicken parts with a jar of salsa, cooked for about 5 hours on low. Sometimes, I add a can of corn and a can of beans. This can easily turn into a lovely soup with some chicken stock. I usually serve over rice or with tortillas or as taco salad. It’s versatile and a crowd favorite.

Whole Roast Chicken

It’s easy to roast a chicken in a slow cooker! I usually place breast down so it stays moist. Season with garlic and salt or lemon pepper. I don’t add any liquid. I cook on high for about 4 hours or until thermometer reads 165. Sometimes, I broil it in the oven to crisp up the skin. The leftover liquid makes a lovely gravy.

Chicago Beef

A chuck roast goes a long way with some Italian seasoning, cooked about 6 hours on low. I don’t even add any liquid except maybe a dash of Worcestershire sauce. Chopped or pulled on wheat hoagie rolls with cheese and sautéed veggies, this is a family favorite.

Pot Roast

My husband grew up with a simple pot roast using onion soup mix and I often make this. Other times, I make the sauce from scratch with fresh herbs and a dark beer. I love lots of root veggies. Makes a great leftover minestrone soup with beans and noodles! I usually buy a lovely chuck roast at our local butcher or the commissary.

I set it on low for about 6 hours. I usually have to thicken the gravy on the stovetop.

Stewed Beef

I have a few ways I make stewed beef.

Burgundy beef tips: I season the meat and dredge in flour and sear in fat with onions, celery, and carrots. I pour in some red wine and beef stock and simmer on low for about 5 hours. This is great over noodles or rice.

Traditional beef stew: I season and flour the beef and sear in fat. I pour in a dark beer with root veggies and set it on low for 6 hours and forget it.

Stroganoff is easy! I just add sour cream or cream cheese to the beef stew gravy.

Goulash: I add tomatoes, tomato sauce, and paprika.

Asian beef: I add soy sauce, brown sugar, mirin, black pepper, garlic, ginger, onions, and a little bit of sesame oil with cornstarch and cook on low for about 5 hours. I serve over rice with veggies.

Irish Stew

We love Irish stew all year long. Cubed lamb dredged in flour and sugar, seared in fat, then I pour in a Guinness or red wine with herbs. I add root veggies and cook on low for about 6 hours. I sometimes have to thicken the gravy.

Swiss Steak

I love Swiss steak, but my husband does not. I like to dredge in flour and sear round steak and smother in onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes. Cook on low for about 6 hours.

Roast Ham

This is a great way to free up oven space during holiday times too!

I pour cola or Riesling wine over the ham and glaze with mustard, brown sugar or maple syrup, and pumpkin pie spices. Cook on low about 6 hours or until thermometer says 145.

My favorite tools:

In the past, I have made breakfast casserole and bread pudding in my slow cooker for breakfasts. It’s really very versatile, especially when feeding a crowd or when the oven and stovetop is needed or when I’m very busy or away from home.

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What are your favorite slow cooker foods?

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Celebrating Autumn

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September is a time to welcome harvest, say goodbye to summer for good even if temps are still warm, welcoming fall.

I think everyone has a favorite season and I have always loved autumn, the scents or decaying leaves, the breezes that transition into crisp licks from summer warmth. I look forward to boots and sweaters and all the beautiful colors.

It seems that summer continues longer and then Halloween keeps creeping up, so I have barely a few days to actually enjoy autumn.

I love setting out my ceramic pumpkins on the brick hearth and my little velvet ones on the mantle. I switch out my front door wreath to one with leaves and pinecones. I have fall tablecloths and towels.

Celebrate the Autumnal Equinox around the 23rd of September.

The word equinox is from Latin, meaning “equal night.” 

The autumn equinox is called Mabon, or Second Harvest, is one of the sacred Celtic celebrations, which date back to ancient times. It’s a time to give thanks for the summer and to pay tribute to the coming darkness.

Thanksgiving, the Moon Festival, Higan, Sukkot, Diwali, and many other fall festivals also hit upon themes of light, darkness, change, plenty, gratitude, and community.

According to legend, a feathered serpent deity named Kukulcan visits the Maya city of Chichen Itza every equinox. On both the vernal and autumnal equinox, crowds gather to watch as a snake-like shadow slides down the god’s namesake pyramid.

Fall festivals of the equinox often involve themes:

  • balancing opposites, especially the scientific, aesthetic, and symbolic senses of light and darkness in balance
  • food, plenty, and gratitude
  • building and celebrating community through sharing food and labor
  • preparing for winter practically, emotionally, and spiritually

Celebrating Autumn

Apples are a great September theme.

Pomona was a Roman goddess who was the keeper of orchards and fruit trees.

Here are a few verses perfect for Autumn (from A Beautiful Childhood):

  • Harvest. This is a sweet poem that you can bring to life with some simple actions: “Blow, wind, blow! and go, mill, go! that the miller may grind his corn; that the baker may take it, and into bread make it, and bring us a loaf in the morn. When the wind drops, so the mill stops; when the wind blows, so the mill goes, going: ‘clickety-clacketyclickety-clackety-clickety-clacketyclickety-clack.”
  • Seeds. Tell this poem slowly whilst doing actions with your hands: “A little seed for me to sow, a little earth to make it grow, a little dig, a little pat, a little wish, and that is that. A little sun, a little shower, a little wait, and then… a flower!”
  • Wind / leaves. There are so many similar to this but I love this one, again it could easily be brought to life with a few simple hand gestures: “Come, little leaves,” said the wind one day; Come over the meadows with me and play; Put on your dresses of red and gold; For summer is gone, and the days grow cold. Soon as the leaves heard the wind’s loud call, Down they came fluttering, one and all; Over the fields they danced and flew, Singing the soft little songs they knew. Dancing and whirling the little leaves went; Winter had called them and they were content; Soon, fast asleep in their earthy beds, The snow laid a coverlet over their heads.”
  • Apples. You can cut an apple in half to see the “star” inside and tell this poem / sing this song:  “My nice red rosy apple, has a secret hid unseen. You’d see if you could slip inside, five rooms so neat and clean. In each room there are living, two pips so shiny bright. Asleep they are a-dreaming, of lovely warm sunlight. And sometimes they are dreaming, of things that are to be. For soon they will be hanging, upon a Christmas tree.”

Books

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What’s your favorite thing about autumn?

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What if I die?

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My parents had me pretty late for the times. They were 35 in 1976, had been married for about thirteen years. They were set in their ways. I was unwelcome as an upset to the schedule even though they assure me I was desperately wanted.

I have mourned my parents since I was about eight years old. I worried about what would happen to me if my parents died before I was 18. I knew in a macabre sense that I would forever have no one to help me and it would be super hard when my parents got older.

Being an only child of aging parents is tough.

It’s been a long time since I lived nearby and the relationship has never been anything but toxic.

Sixteen years is a long time to live away and only have a few emails to maintain a relationship that’s passive aggressive at best and narcissistic at worst. The most recent email was an admonishment from my mother that she doesn’t know my kids, doesn’t talk to them, only knows what I tell her. She doesn’t even pay attention to what I tell her and seldom comments on any pictures I send. Why must I make all the effort?

My parents ignored me in a little tantrum for several months last year and I worried: how would I even know if they got sick or injured?

It makes me sad and also a little bit scared.

My parents turn 80 next year. They live in a HUGE 3-story house and are still independent, but I wonder how long that will last and what could happen in a blink of an eye. They’re vaccinated, but they live in Georgia and there aren’t any protections in place and they live as though we are not in an international crisis.

Time is running out for healing a broken relationship.

What if I get COVID-19?

I never thought I would really have to plan or worry about what would happen to my family if my husband or I get chronically ill, hospitalized, or died. I mean, we plan for these possibilities with wills, POA, legal paperwork, insurance, investments. We surely hope it never has to be used while the children are young. But the reality with COVID-19 and the political climate means that I have to think about it more as a probability.

Our will states my parents and my husband’s two sisters as next of kin, but that doesn’t ease my mind at all. My parents are old and my husband’s sisters have their own busy families. None of these people share my values at all.

While I feel assured my family would be ok long-term because of our financial planning, that doesn’t help me with the thoughts of how would they cope emotionally and psychologically or in the short-term.

My husband and I, and our three older kids, are all vaccinated and wear masks when we leave the house.

My husband works full-time, in a medical laboratory facility. He’s frontline and knows the statistics and risks. I’ve been very frightened for years what he could be exposed to or bring home. We did get H1N1 a couple years ago, even with the flu shot.

I’m the one who usually goes to the stores to buy groceries. I’m putting myself at risk every time I leave the house. Yes, I know I could use pickup or delivery services, but that has other issues. My greatest fear is asphyxiation. The thought of me contracting a deadly respiratory virus and possibly being hospitalized and intubated while quarantined, isolated, and alone is terrifying to me. I lie awake at night considering if I might have been exposed. Is that cramp the beginning? Did I just feel a tiny shortness of breath? Is my chest tightening? Is this COVID or anxiety or allergies? Will I be ambulanced away or dropped off at the ER and not be able to say goodbye to my family? The irony of my functional depression and constant suicide ideation is not lost on me as I realize I don’t want to die…like that.

I have food anxiety and constantly worry about stocking up on essentials and stress about my kids eating healthy meals and having snacks and enough sports drinks to stay hydrated. I worry even more what would happen if they had to somehow fend for themselves for a long period of time if I got sick or had to be hospitalized.

I’m terrified of my kids contracting the virus. How do we quarantine one in our house so the rest are safe? What if I have to leave my child alone in the hospital?

While my eldest is on her own, working fulltime and living with friends, she is still in a liminal space in her young life and I worry constantly about her wellbeing. A coworker just tested positive and my daughter caught a bad cold and we all held our breath until her COVID test showed “no detection.”

We have always homeschooled. My middle kids will be on the cusp of completing their academics and approaching graduation time in the next two years. While there is still a lot of paperwork for the state and hoops to jump through for them to enter college early, I don’t have so many worries about their education.

My son is only 11 and cannot be vaccinated yet. We’re planning a freaking family birthday party at our local drugstore for when he turns 12 and can get the shot. I’m only sort of joking.

The kids lost their neighborhood friends when some continued to play together while we were in lockdown and one teen boy decided it was the perfect time to inform us that all Muslims are terrorists and all LGBTQ will go to hell.

I worry how he would survive in a school environment or how he could continue homeschooling if something happened to his dad or me. How would his siblings be able to help or handle it?

We were never meant to live in perpetual crisis.

I chose to settle in suburbia so my kids could grow up in safety and peace and have a little nature to play in like I did when I was a child.

I feel lost, alone, scared, betrayed.

I can’t protect my kids from a society intent on killing its less valuable citizens.

I am enraged by people living in complacency or outright denial that there is a vast plague affecting the vulnerable populations around the world. I cannot fathom that governments and individuals really think it’s acceptable to sacrifice children, elderly, others who are most at risk of contracting and getting very ill or dying from this virus.

We are witnessing the collapse of our society like the slow motion fall of Rome while too many people cry that they just want to “return to normal” because that was comfortable for them and they benefited too well from that normal that was anything but normal for many.

We have the opportunity to improve our society, and correct past wrongs that have been highlighted by the too brief COVID shutdowns, but that seems like a fleeting pipe dream as we realize our rights are being reneged after decades, people are evicted and homeless and jobless, schools aren’t updating nor protecting our young, and we’re sacrificing our disrespected elderly to the gods of capitalism.

I am horrified but also feel paralyzed and helpless.

While I do believe that one person can help make a difference, I feel like a tiny teardrop in a bucket full of holes.

Too many financially stable and comfortable people who do care just a little only want to donate a little money or their used clothes and closet cleanouts and feel better about themselves, like that really helps anyone who needs help.

The social media posts from naysaying parents who don’t want their kids “controlled by politics, having to wear masks in school, nor live in fear” are just raising another generation of selfish and hateful people. My daughter takes a gymnastics class with a friend whose sister has COVID. Contact tracing and waiting and quarantine has us all in a panic, as we monitor every sniffle, sneeze, scratch in the throat.

I am perhaps not as shocked as I could be that many Christians are living like they’re going to be rescued by God despite not taking any precautions and showing their disdain for everyone else who is. I don’t think that’s the way it works. A deadly virus not a bipartisan or religious issue.

Vaccine mandates are really bringing out the worst in some people. They would rather quit their jobs than get a shot. And some of these people are in service and health industries, which makes me even sadder.

I am infuriated by all the people traveling, vacationing, going to church, concerts, and restaurants – like everything is not literally on fire and people are dying. They live in a different world.

I don’t want to see the fucking selfish blog posts and social media images of the beach vacations or restaurant dining. These people are putting everyone at risk as they pretend everything is fine.

I am disgusted by social media images of 13 beers on restaurant tables with cheerfully unmasked diners – as our children are hospitalized while politicians ridicule and deny anyone who fears a deadly virus and also refusing refugees any humanity and taking away human rights from women. My grandfather, father, and husband didn’t put on a uniform and serve their country for a publicity stunt.

People confuse patriotism with nationalism and only pick and choose who they deem worthy of honor.

We need systemic changes.

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