Jennifer Lambert

A Sacred Balance

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Unplugging

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Maybe not enough years ago…I realized I don’t have to participate.

How many decisions about life, job, health, or children are we making out of peer or family pressure? We can model the change we want for ourselves and for our children to see.

There is no village and I don’t want to be a part of the mom society I see online and in our community.

The only point to therapy other than trauma processing is to learn how to acclimate to our sick society. I tried several times and it was always disappointing. I shouldn’t have to be medicated to succeed. Perhaps our society’s values should change?

I don’t have to view advertisements and I sure don’t have to purchase items or services. We are a capitalist consumer society but I don’t have to consume.

I don’t have to read blogs or articles or news reports. It’s getting harder to discern what is even real anymore.

I don’t have to care about having an aesthetic or brands or labels.

I don’t care about what’s popular or trendy. I didn’t care when I was seventeen, but I was ostracized and alienated so I tried to periodically fit in and then wondered why I got so depressed. I feel more myself now that I’ve given up on keeping up.

I can remove all expectations that society places on me as a woman and wife and mother.

I lurk in online groups for mothers and military spouses and homeschoolers. It is depressing how many questions there are in these anonymous settings about how to keep up with this rat race society instead of slowing down and being original or fighting oppression. I’ve had posts deleted that don’t align with their worldview the admins claimed were “unkind.” I feel like an anthropologist. They just crave confirmation bias. Don’t we all? But no one is fighting against abuse and control.

I have snoozed every single company or profile in my FB feed wanting to laminate my brows, extend my lashes, inject or fill my face, remove my blemishes, blonde my hair, clean my house, detail my car, vacuum my air ducts, steam my carpet, clear my yard, pressure wash my driveway, or offering cottage baked goods. It’s excessive how many side hustles there are and I wonder how many are even legit companies and I see a lot of scam complaints. It’s sad that people have to do this to try to survive financially.

I deleted my Twitter with the new TOS about AI with no options. I really don’t utilize social media the way many of my peers, family members, or acquaintances do. I don’t post many pictures of my family or selfies. I don’t like bragging or fishing for engagement. I seldom crowdsource because I don’t need that kind of affirmation. I am only on Facebook to keep up with my cousins. I have 41 “friends” who consist of relatives by blood and marriage, my daughter’s roommates, past students, and ten actual IRL friends. I follow a few pages of organizations I like. I’m considering deleting Instagram, because it’s worthless since it’s just reels and screenshots. It seems that many parents don’t see the irony of using their smartphones, tablets, social media while ridiculing their kids and teens for the exact same thing. Many youths really don’t use social media the same way adults do and that’s fine. Forbidding it or limiting it or using it as a punishment tool will backfire.

I can decorate my house however I want to with no guilt or pressure from an aesthetic look or sad beige club. I don’t want my house to look like a dentist office. I like retro decor for memories and antique well-made items instead of the “fast fashion decor garbage.” I saw someone say they didn’t want dirty old things in their house and I feel sad for her in her sterile house. Why are all these dinner reels just empty kitchens with two utensils and four neutral dog dishes to feed her little Stepford family?

I don’t have to have the newest or latest technology. I reluctantly have one television in our basement and all the stupid streaming services. Everyone has an iPad and smartphone. We have computers. I don’t see the need to upgrade every year.

I don’t shop in stores or online for entertainment. I actually hate shopping. But I’ve also never used a meal or grocery delivery or Doordash or the like. I like thrifting and antique malls.

I don’t do brunch. I’m not a morning person and I have absolutely no desire to wake up and get dressed and go out in public and deal with people while uncaffeinated. I don’t even eat out, except very, very rarely, and only at like two or three places. I have a well-stocked pantry, freezer, and bar so I cook breakfast and dinner every single day and I make my own drinks. My kids have packed lunches during their classes at a local university. I don’t think I know anyone who actually cooks real food. They’re too busy or it’s not worth the effort or some such excuse.

I think people get offended when we aren’t ashamed of things that they were taught to be ashamed of and they resent us for not caring what everybody thinks.

I don’t have to be a puppet of capitalism or whatever society says I should be or do.

I feel at peace being unplugged.

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Protection

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I do not need protection.

You were never there when I needed help.

My cries went unanswered.

I dried my own tears.

I’ve learned to rely only on myself.

What do you think you can protect me from?

Your words?

Your actions?

Your own failure?

I protect myself

from my fear

glancing for my exits

I stare into the darkness

with my keys splayed between my fingers

scanning the shadows

listening for foot shuffles

locking my doors

encrypting my financial information

updating my privacy on apps

changing my passwords

and still the memory

of your idea of protection

of the abuse

of the assault

haunts me in my nightmares.

My faith is shattered.

I don’t need your fucking protection.

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Affording Higher Education

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Many of us were fortunate to attend a college, university, trade school or something after high school and not incur massive amounts of student loan debt. My husband and I had very small low-interest student loans to cover costs for our last year and we luckily paid them off quickly.

I’m the first grandchild to attend college in my family. As far as I know, I’m the first girl to attend. Only my mom’s brother attended UGA for theatre. It’s not celebrated enough. My grandma was one of twelve and my mom had five siblings. College was never expected nor assumed. My parents didn’t give me an option.

My husband and his parents and sisters and one brother-in-law all have master’s degrees.

Having a student loan is problematic when the job outlook is poor and there is no job security in one of the 28 right-to-work states. Many loans are deferred while we’re still in school, but what happens if we rely on income to pay it off and that income just goes away?

We vowed to help our children with tuition and expenses and not have them saddled with loads of education debt to start their young adult lives.

We are extremely fortunate that our kids receive veteran aid from my husband’s military disability and he offered them each a portion of his GI Bill, but it is not something we could plan for nor expected.

Some History of Education Loans in the USA

Reagan cut higher education funding and student aid, and college costs boomed as a result. 

In 1972-1980, the Pell Grant was created and funded for low income students.

A revision to the Higher Education Act in 1992, resulted in a significant expansion of the federal unsubsidized student loan program and the creation of the FAFSA.

A Senate investigation during the Bush administration revealed widespread fraud and abuse in the predatory for-profit college industry.

In 2001, President George W. Bush eliminated the time limit for how long borrowers could deduct student loan interest from taxes. The limit on interest deduction was also raised to $2,500, where it still stands today.

In December 2007, the Great Recession hit. Federal and state governments made deep cuts to higher education funding.

The Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program (PSLFP) was signed into law in 2007, by President G.W. Bush and almost never delivered.

From the start of the Great Recession in 2008, to the relative economic stability of 2018, college costs and debt increased significantly, but state and federal funding for higher education, the biggest source of revenue for most schools, has not returned to pre-2008 levels.

Many nations offer free higher education opportunities to their citizens. A few states in the USA are offering some community college options. Why can’t we do more and be better?

We are saddened by the education failings in the USA and how it has changed for the worse over the past couple decades while being much more expensive.

It seems that the recent student loan forgiveness plans are in tatters and many will suffer to pay back student loans at high interest rates while salaries stagnate and rents are exorbitant. How are our kids expected to purchase homes, have children, travel, save for retirement, or any of the other milestones we and our parents or grandparents enjoyed?

Americans owe more than $1.74 trillion in student loan debt — a number that keeps rising as tuition costs continue to increase. More than 30% of student loan borrowers are in default, late, or have stopped making payments six years after graduation.

I’ve witnessed programs canceled and majors being deleted and professors striking for higher wages and tenure. It’s the bonfire of the humanities.

Many financial aid options require students to attend full time, which limits other options like working or volunteering. For my kids, full-time credits are twelve hours each semester.

How to Afford Higher Education

Pre-College Courses

Many states offer early college courses or admission for students as young as seventh grade. I was a freshman scholar as a high school senior in Georgia. When we moved to Ohio, my kids started at age 15/16 taking direct courses at our local university. The College Credit Plus is a great program and many students graduate high school with the equivalent of associate’s degrees.

Two of my kids took summer programs that earned them college credit. Many specialty schools, private, and state universities offer “camps” or summer sessions as pre-college tastes to recruit students.

Federal Aid

First, we have to fill out the FAFSA. It’s so different after last year. There is a parent section and student section and make sure to send the info to the correct higher institutions!

My husband received a small grant when he attended university. I’m pretty sure we will never qualify for our three younger kids, but if my eldest decides to attend, she might receive some funding as being no longer our dependent.

Scholarships

There are huge lists of scholarships on various websites and offerings for so many different interests and merit. I recently saw one I am keeping bookmarked about asparagus for my son!

As a military family, my kids received some assistance from some organizations on our base.

The university my kids attend have a universal scholarship application to be filled out annually. Within that application are departmental forms and many extracurricular options.

Of course, good grades and test scores are often offered merit scholarships.

There are many opportunities for sports and extracurricular activities if kids choose that route.

Investments

We have invested in 529 plans for each of our four children since they were babies.

We have used the funds for tuition, books, and computer purchases.

If the entirety is unused, it can be rolled over without tax penalties to another younger sibling or for graduate school or other education expenses.

Work Study

Many colleges offer student aid in the form of tuition assistance or stipends in exchange for working on campus. I designed a website for my master’s program for a small stipend back in 1998!

Jobs

My kids are planning ahead and have savings accounts from part-time jobs they worked while high school age. They plan to use these for travel, study abroad opportunities, or graduate school expenses.

ROTC and various military enlistments offer lots of benefits during and after serving.

Some employers offer scholarships or tuition assistance with a contract or promise of working for the company for a time.

While it is stressful to work full-time and attend college full-time, it is possible.

Vocational Schools

Not everyone desires to go to an academic university. There are so many opportunities at vocational institutions and community colleges that offer certificates or associate’s degrees. These are much more affordable options for students who want to enter the workforce more quickly than a traditional university degree.

Commuting

We are in a great geographical position that my kids can commute to a local university and we are also somewhat near some others if they need to transfer. I commuted to Clayton State and Georgia State and while that wasn’t my choice at the time, it did save on housing and food expenses. I am irritated by the poor condition of dorms and food choices that I see my kids’ peers suffering. I have told my kids they can live at home as long as they want or need to.

Other Fees

All the extras sure do add up!

The parking fee is outrageous, so we carpool as much as possible to the commuter college.

My kids applied early to waive the application fees.

We buy books used or even rent for courses that my kids aren’t interested in keeping the books.

We pack lunches, drinks, and snacks. I do buy a $50 commuter meal plan each semester for my kids for coffee or emergencies.

My kids are disappointed that so many of their peers are struggling financially – working and going to school and having no time to be young or carefree or socialize. I even often pack food for their friends during study time or exam weeks. My daughter said her friends act like middle-aged boring people who have no time or money for anything other than survival. This economy is taking its toll.

I understand that many families can’t financially support adult kids to attend a university. I am pleased that we are able to keep our promises to our kids so far.

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The Taft Museum of Art

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We were so excited to visit The Taft Museum of Art for a special photography exhibit.

Moment in Time: A Legacy of Photographs

We loved the photos and how they were displayed and explained.

There were some famous photographers exhibited, like Man Ray and Dorothea Lange. Portraits and artistic compositions.

Some of our favorites:

We took a fun mirror selfie.

The house is lovely with the architecture, decor, and art.

We loved this archway and the drapery is just gorgeous everywhere.

We got in trouble for leaning too far over and set off the alarm to view these little squirrel containers more closely.

There’s also a really adorable tea room and garden area. We’d love to go back and see other exhibits.

Plan your visit to The Taft Museum of Art.

10 a.m.–5 p.m., Wednesday–Monday

Admission is free for Taft members, military, and youth (17 and under); $15 for adults; $12 for seniors. Non-members save by purchasing tickets online. Sundays and Mondays are free!

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How to Overcome Dental Anxiety and Make Cleanings Stress-Free

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Key Takeaways:

  • Understanding the root causes of dental anxiety can help in managing and overcoming it.
  • Effective communication with your dentist can significantly reduce anxiety.
  • Various relaxation techniques and mindfulness practices can make dental visits more comfortable.

Understanding Dental Anxiety

Dental anxiety is a widespread problem that many people experience. Numerous things might cause it, including a fear of pain, unpleasant memories from the past, or even just the sounds and odors of a dentist office. Finding the sources of your worry and addressing them can be the first steps in conquering it. For those in the region, dental cleanings Parkesburg offer a professional and understanding approach to help ease these fears, making the experience more manageable. Identifying specific triggers helps in developing targeted strategies to cope with anxiety, paving the way for a less stressful visit to the dentist.

Communicate with Your Dentist

Being open and honest with your dentist is essential to controlling dental anxiety. By being aware of your worries, your dentist can adjust the procedure to suit your needs. They can explain procedures in detail, offer reassurance, and even schedule extra time for your appointment. This personalized approach can significantly reduce anxiety and make the experience more comfortable. Many professionals are trained to handle anxious patients with care and empathy, providing a safer and more relaxed environment. Never be afraid to voice your worries or ask questions. A reputable dentist will value your candor and work with you to make the procedure less stressful.

Relaxation Techniques

Several relaxation techniques can help calm your nerves before and during a dental visit. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and guided imagery can all be effective. You can also de-stress by employing aromatherapy with essential oils like lavender or by listening to soothing music. Combined, these techniques can be especially beneficial, providing a multi-faceted approach to anxiety management. Practicing yoga or engaging in light exercise before their appointment can also help to reduce stress levels. Experiment with different methods to find what works best for you.

The Role of Sedation Dentistry

Sedation dentistry offers another layer of comfort for those with severe dental anxiety. There are several sedation degrees that can be utilized, from light sedatives like nitrous oxide to deeper techniques that need medical supervision. WebMD explains that sedation dentistry can make even the most complex dental procedures feel stress-free, helping patients relax and receive care without fear or discomfort. Discussing sedation options with your dentist can provide additional peace of mind and make your dental visits much more tolerable.

Mindfulness and Its Benefits

Mindfulness exercises are a fantastic way to alleviate dental anxiety. Mindfulness activities, meditation, and controlled breathing are effective methods for achieving grounding and stress reduction. Taking a few minutes to practice mindfulness before your meeting can make a great difference in your general mood. You can break the pattern of worrying thoughts and attain a more tranquil state of mind by concentrating on your breathing and the here and now. Frequent mindfulness practice can also help you become more adept at handling stress and anxiety in a variety of contexts, which can have long-term advantages.

Alternative Therapies

Alternative therapies like acupuncture and hypnotherapy have shown promise in reducing dental anxiety. These therapies can provide alternative methods to traditional anxiety management techniques, offering unique ways to address and alleviate your fears. Research has shown that these approaches can complement conventional relaxation techniques, providing an added support layer. Finding the best course of action for your needs in terms of treatment might be facilitated by speaking with a specialist in these therapies.

Preparing for Your Appointment

Preparation is key to a stress-free dental visit. Arrive early to allow yourself time to relax and acclimate to the environment. Bring a friend or family member for support if that makes you feel more comfortable. Don cozy attire and include any calming accessories, such as comfort blankets or stress balls. Establishing a peaceful habit before your consultation can assist create a more laid-back atmosphere. Before your visit, think about abstaining from caffeine and sugary meals as these can make you feel more anxious. To be stable and composed, choose a light, balanced dinner instead.

Conclusion

With the correct techniques and assistance, it is completely feasible to overcome dental phobia. Dental appointments can be much more tolerable if you know what is causing your anxiety in the first place, communicate with your dentist in an efficient manner, and practice mindfulness and relaxation. Professional teeth cleanings in Parkesburg can provide a comforting and understanding environment to help allay your anxieties. By adequately preparing and exploring alternative therapies, you can transform your dental experiences, making them stress-free and enjoyable. By proactively addressing dental anxiety, you may improve your oral health and general well-being by ensuring that you receive the necessary dental care.

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American Sign Museum

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We finally visited the American Sign Museum in Cincinnati.

It’s so much fun walking through history!

There are plaques throughout detailing the history of lights and fonts and advertising and signage. It was really quite amazing.

So many memories!

We always meet the neatest people and have such lovely chats about history!

We loved it because we love history and art and this was such a fun homeschool field trip for all ages.

OPEN Wednesday – Sunday 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

Plan your visit to The American Sign Museum.

Neonworks of Cincinnati is Cincinnati’s only full-time neon sign shop.

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Winter Gear for Sports Parents

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I am not made for cold weather.

Many sports begin in one season and end in another. Often, there is wind and rain, even sleet or snow at the beginning of baseball season! Sometimes, it seems as if that is the same day.

I recently wrote about Summer Gear for Sports Parents. Obviously heat can be dangerous and we need to make sure we stay cool with rising temperatures. But being cold is miserable.

I want to support and cheer for my kids while staying warm and dry.

I’ve loved seeing my kids play soccer and baseball and do ice skating. I’m so proud of all they have tried and learned and how they continue to improve in their endeavors.

Baseball is normally a warm weather sport, but there have been times in early spring or late fall that have been miserably cold and wuthery. Also, ice skating rinks are often very cold for spectators. I like being prepared and staying warm.

Winter Gear for Sports Parents

Clothing

Blankets

Tents

Seating

Warmers

Snacks and Drinks

I don’t like being cold and I am not made for winter. These items help me to cheer on the sidelines for my kids playing sports in cold weather.

Do you have tips for cold weather gear?

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Real Self Care

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So, so many of us are stressed.

We are bombarded with articles and ads and memes and even admonitions from family and friends to practice more or better “self-care.”

Even the authorities in lives – parents and pastors – criticize us for not taking more time for ourselves, but without offering any real help.

Images of self-care are bubble baths with wine and candles or expensive spa days with facials and massages and pedicures.

Honestly, that’s not even what relaxes some of us, not to mention how many can’t afford it.

Consumerism often just adds to our problems.

Self-care shouldn’t contribute to your stress!

Is it betrayal or burnout?

Many of us don’t have any help.

Our society tells us we need to be supermoms. We should be able to do it all and look young and smooth and stylish and cheerful while succeeding.

This is not reality.

This is about our culture and the lack of public policy. We don’t have universal healthcare or affordable childcare or paid leave or even reliable income. Expenses rise and salaries stays the same.

Spouses don’t do enough for whatever reason. We have little support. Family might live far away or be inconsistent or even toxic. Few can afford to hire domestic labor to do the work we often have to put aside but feel guilty about all the time.

Expensive supplements or vitamins or even prescription meds are not the end-all, be-all solution. Therapy isn’t the answer to a broken sick and society. The immediacy of the Instagram self-care is seductive and we are told we can get quick gratification fixes, but that’s a lie. That’s the betrayal. Burnout isn’t fixed with a candle or pedicure.

It’s like we constantly have a check engine line flickering and we aren’t even sure what we need anymore.

There’s lots of discussion about boundaries. But boundaries are a privilege. That no has a cost. That cost is high for many who don’t have a luxury of saying no without consequences.

What happens if we say NO to a parent? To our child? To our spouse? To our boss or coworker? To a sister or friend? Often, there is pushback or negativity or toxic behavior. Seldom is there respect and understanding.

As women, especially as wives and mothers, many of us have been conditioned to believe that our needs come last. Some of us have even been trained to think we shouldn’t have any needs at all. The presumption is that our wellbeing doesn’t matter or the only way that it could ever matter is if it leads to more wellbeing for the kids.

Biologically, we want our children to have their needs met, even to our own detriment. Selflessness is our value. But even in emergencies, we are instructed to place the oxygen mask on ourselves before placing them on our children. We shouldn’t be martyrs.

If we cannot breathe, we cannot help another.

But what is real self-care?

There are lots of metaphors and people have different needs.

We really, truly do not have to compare ourselves to others – to past generations, to our neighbors or siblings or friends, and certainly NOT to anyone we see with picture perfect curated social media accounts.

We don’t have to do what they tell us.

“Eudemonic wellbeing is based on this theory of wellbeing means that your values, your internal values, and your life choices are aligned. It’s the opposite of hedonic wellbeing which means that wellbeing is the absence of suffering.” – Pooja Lakshmin

We each have choices to make. We must envision what life we desire. How do we want our weeknights, weekends, and holidays to look? Do we want family dinner every night or the sports practices and lessons with the kids every evening? There never seems to be a third option.

Self-care means self-awareness and self-acceptance. Sometimes, things just suck. Acknowledging that, figuring out what you might be able to change, and getting support can help. But the first step is to let yourself feel your feelings.

Let’s move away from performative ideas of self care that we see in commercials. We need to curate a life we don’t need a vacation from.

We need to fill up our tanks – our “energy reservoirs.” We can’t wait around and expect others to do that for us. We must learn how to be self-aware and seek out what we need. If we can keep even some of our reservoirs full, we will feel much more fulfilled and capable.

Our energy reservoirs are: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social.

We need to make sure all the tanks get frequently refilled. We can only neglect a tank for a little while before it feels overwhelming.

Physical

This physical reservoir relates to our physical health, our physical wellbeing.

This pertains to how we sleep, eat, exercise. There are also negatives that drain our tanks – such as drug or alcohol use, smoking or vaping, poor hygiene, sporadic diet, lack of sleep, being sedentary.

Many people focus on the physical tank to the detriment of other tanks. It’s easy to recognize when this tank needs filling. But remember, the body never lies.

Some issues with this tank when others are too long neglected are hyperfocusing on food or exercise to the point of addiction or disorder.

Mental

Our mental tanks are about our knowledge and wisdom and how we use that.

I need my mental tank much more stimulated and refilled more often than some other people I know. This sometimes makes it hard for me to replenish my mental tank and I often just need to retreat to be alone to read or research or meditate. It’s often difficult that I don’t have anyone to discuss current events or art or books with, so I just ferment in my grief.

Some love the history documentaries or reading or doing puzzles. There are seasons when this tank is used more or less. We should have a hobby we don’t have to monetize.

Emotional

Emotional batteries run on emotional intelligence.

We need to become aware of our emotions and how to regulate our reactions to the emotions of ourselves and others. Many of us need to work on self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. We weren’t taught these things and it creates a lot of conflict that could be avoided.

There are no bad emotions. Many of use can’t handle anger or any negativity. Anger is not a bad thing, but it can take over if it is not properly managed.

We can learn nonviolent communication and practice healthy conflict resolution.

Spiritual

Spirituality is not just about religion. It’s mostly about morals, kindness, self-compassion and relationships.

Some of us prefer to spend time in nature like forest bathing or volunteering to boost our spiritual cravings. Music and art can help us achieve our spiritual needs. Meditation and worship are very popular ways to boost this tank.

Social

Our social tank is refueled when we spend time with people we care about and who genuinely care about us.

Social connection is important and often overlooked. We live in a disconnected world. So many of us experience loneliness, even when surrounded by so many people.

I do not care for transactional relationships. I prefer quality over quantity. I also like and need to be alone, which is confusing and distressing to some people who thrive with more social interaction.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” – Audre Lorde

The stressors are most likely not going to go away, but they can be prioritized.

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Safety Meets Style: The Benefits of Installing Path Lighting in Your Yard

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Adequate path lighting is essential in enhancing safety and aesthetics in outdoor spaces. Properly illuminated walkways and garden paths help prevent accidents by making obstacles and uneven surfaces more visible during the evening or nighttime. Additionally, well-designed lighting creates an inviting ambiance, highlighting landscaping features and extending the usability of outdoor areas beyond daylight hours. By integrating stylish and functional lighting solutions, such as those offered by VisualComfort, you can balance practicality and elegance, ensuring that your outdoor paths are safe and visually appealing.

Enhanced Safety and Security

Path lighting is a primary consideration for homeowners who invest in it to ensure safe travel around their property. Sufficient lighting can reduce the risk of accidents, especially in areas with steps or uneven ground. Strategically placed lights can also discourage potential intruders by eliminating dark spots where someone could hide. Additionally, these lights can help outline boundaries and clearly define pathways, making it easier for guests to navigate your yard during nighttime events or casual stargazing sessions.

Boost Curb Appeal

Path lighting enhances curb appeal and highlights landscaping features, making your property stand out. Lighting solutions can showcase your yard’s beauty, whether a simple garden path or an elaborate outdoor setup. Integrating path lights creates an inviting atmosphere for evening gatherings and outdoor events, highlighting the natural beauty of plants, trees, and architectural elements.

Eco-Friendly Lighting Options

Solar-powered path lights are an environmentally friendly and cost-effective outdoor lighting option. They use the sun’s energy to illuminate your yard and often come with automatic sensors for consistent illumination. Solar lights are a wise investment, especially with growing awareness of climate change, because they reduce electricity bills and help decrease your carbon footprint. They are easy to install and maintain, and they provide a sustainable solution for outdoor lighting.

Highlight Yard Features

Pathway lighting can be strategically positioned to showcase specific elements in your garden, such as flower beds, water features, or sculptures. Incorporating various kinds of lighting, such as upward and downward lights, creates overlapping layers of brightness that contribute depth and perspective to your garden. This layered method emphasizes patterns and hues, bringing your outdoor area to life after dusk. Innovative lighting can also mirror your taste, enabling you to personalize your garden to match your preferences and style.

Practical Tips for Installation

Planning Your Layout

When installing path lighting, it’s essential to carefully plan the layout and identify main pathways and safety areas. Ensure the lights are evenly spaced along the path to provide a consistent glow that guides visitors safely. It’s essential to map out the placement of lights beforehand to ensure that areas are adequately lit.

Choosing the Right Fixtures

Outdoor lighting fixtures come in different types, such as bollard lights, stake lights, and recessed lights. These weather-resistant and durable fixtures offer unique benefits depending on your requirements. Bollard lights provide architectural appeal, while stake lights offer flexibility in design and ease of movement.

Incorporating Timers and Sensors

Path lights can be enhanced by incorporating timers or motion sensors. Timers regulate when the lights turn on and off at specific times, while motion sensors activate the lights only when movement is detected. These additions help to prolong the lights’ lifespan and decrease electricity usage. Motion sensors ensure that the yard is illuminated only when necessary, which improves energy efficiency and discourages unwelcome visitors.

Our local city and county law enforcement has encouraged homeowners to install lighting and leave porch and driveway lights on at night to help with safety concerns.

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Bombarded with Ads

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We are ravaged by advertisements – everywhere, all the time, all at once.

It’s often difficult for kids to discern what’s real, good, wholesome, worthwhile.

It’s even getting harder for adults not to get swept up in the idyllic reality that ads portray.

Most families have computers, video game consoles, radio, TVs, satellite services, tablets, smart phones.

And on all those devices, subscriptions, and services are ads, ads, ads.

It was just a few years ago that we didn’t even have a TV and the kids were too young for phones. I monitored very closely what we consumed on computers and tablets. Ads didn’t seem to be as much of a problem then.

The kids didn’t get phones or social media until they were 13-14 years old. I don’t use monitoring apps or software. I don’t make them work for screen access.

If they don’t learn how to manage their own screen behaviors now, how can I expect them to as adults or in other aspects of their lives? We have constant discussions about safety and healthy online activities.

I desperately try to keep up-to-date on the newest and latest trends so I am aware of the dangers and exposures. Sometimes, my kids aren’t interested in the fads.

Who protects us?

In the United States, advertisements marketed to children were limited between 1946 and 1983. With the Children’s Television Act, which was introduced in 1990, and strengthened in August 1996, legislation once again became stricter.

In the United Kingdom, Greece, Denmark, and Belgium advertising to children is restricted. In Norway, Sweden and the Canadian province of Quebec, advertising to children under the age of twelve is illegal.

I remember all the ads targeting children when I watched Saturday morning cartoons or shows after school. There were even more ads after we got cable when I was a teen. But I knew these were ads. I knew they were products to be purchased in a store – cereal, toys, candy, snacks, tangible things.

Many of the ads we are constantly exposed to now are not tangible – they’re crypto currency, betting sites, debt consolidation, paycheck advances, online puzzles and games – with in-app purchases, eBooks, webinars, online programming, podcasts, and other electronic products and services.

I’ve noticed lately that the ads are getting sneakier. They look like game updates or prompts that you have to click through to continue playing or watching. They’re getting more and more subtle to trick us into clicking.

I’m tired of all the Temu, gambling, and Experian video ads. It didn’t used to be this way. I can’t even view the weather without waiting minutes to get through the dumb ads.

Many blogs and “news” sites have really ridiculous popup ads that make it frustrating to click through to just read the thing. I’m sorry if this blog has popups and annoying ads. I do try to fix the settings, but they keep updating faster than I can keep up.

And to make it even worse, we have to click multiple X’s to get back to our game or show, and they seem to get smaller and smaller and harder to find within the ad. Is that the tiny close button in the top right corner and the same color as the screen image? If our fingertip even slightly misses the mark, the ad opens to a purchase site or popup box. And often that is difficult to close too. It’s so frustrating.

How do we protect ourselves and our families from ads?

If we don’t pay close attention or encrypt our devices with multiple layers of passcode protection, we or our kids could accidentally purchase ridiculous items or services or extras we have no need or use for – and there are no refunds.

It’s easy to unsubscribe from emails or snail mail ads. I love when I can skip commercials while watching a movie or show, but that’s getting less and less possible. We can sometimes pause our show, but it makes us still watch the ads if we resume it.

With all the streaming services and interruptions with so many obnoxious ads every few minutes, I long for the old days of simple network and cable TV. What has even happened to YouTube? It’s terrible!

Most online ads target us directly from online algorithms based on our search and social media history. This makes us more willing to click through or view the adverts or even make a purchase. Some of us are more susceptible than others.

Holiday displays and ads seem to begin earlier and earlier each year. Even my teen daughter noticed that Halloween stuff starts immediately or simultaneously with back-to-school time. This is surely about capitalism and attempts to stretch the seasons for more money making opportunities.

We’ve experienced cultural shifts due to advertisements.

We have holidays and traditions based on ads in recent decades. Every week, I go to the grocery store, and there are ads about a new holiday I’ve never heard of and themed flowers and sweets they’re urging us to purchase in a front display.

What we can do to protect our families from ads

Remove apps

With multiple devices, I often curate apps and use my tablet just for reading or watching shows. I remove shopping apps from phones and tablets which helps reduce temptation.

Unsubscribe

Manage emails, texts, digital footprints that target us. Sure, we often get a coupon or discount for inputting our email or cell number. But, it’s easy to forget to unsubscribe later.

Pass protection

Make sure sensitive information is protected with passcodes or other identifiers. With each new software update, device settings seem to get more complicated and harder to find and fix everything where I want it. I don’t want surprise in-app purchases or items delivered that I didn’t even know had been bought.

Educate ourselves and our kids

My kids are learning what ads are and how insidious they can sometimes look. They are camouflaged within the apps and games and they know not to click those or ask for me to pay for these extras. Update ad settings on social media and apps to make sure there is nothing inappropriate coming through.

Purchase ad-free upgrades on games or streaming services

This is probably the easiest option, but it can get pricy. We have to keep up with the newest technology and figure out what is worth it for us. It’s a good option for less worry.

With so much new technology, we must be diligent to protect our families as we enjoy the conveniences.

Resources:

  • Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman
  • American Girls: Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers by Nancy Jo Sales
  • Disconnected: Youth, New Media, and the Ethics Gap by Carrie James
  • Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other by Sherry Turkle
  • It’s Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens by danah boyd
  • iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy–and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood–and What That Means for the Rest of Us by Jean M. Twenge, PhD
  • The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt
  • Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit by Richard Louv
  • Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross
  • Hands Free Life: Nine Habits for Overcoming Distraction, Living Better, and Loving More by Rachel Macy Stafford
  • Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! by Rachel Macy Stafford

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